Transitioning to retirement has had both good and bad side effects for me. On the one hand, if I wake up and feel fussy, I just go back to bed because fuck it. I don’t have to do all those work things, like drive a half-hour in rush hour traffic to a dull office where I walk a thin line with HR because my boss is a hot mess*. I can wear something with an elastic waistband all day, every day. Maybe even the same thing repeatedly as long as it doesn’t start to smell funny. I can easily give myself permission to do that thing tomorrow instead of following my naturally obsessive compulsion. All the daily requirements of a civilized work life are now optional. After 40 years of dutiful compliance, the feeling of its absence is… surreal.
On the other hand, what the fuck am I doing? I still have good years left and all the important shit still works, mostly. I mean I’m healthy and I haven’t lost my mind yet. From a life spent in my vocational industry I know things. I’ve stayed current with the applicable technology and until recently was still a vital cog in the machine. I don’t even need much of a salary at this point, but all of that doesn’t mean shit. I’m old, I’m male, I’m white, I’m not a protected veteran, and I’m not disabled. I can’t even get a part-time job in a warehouse or store because I don’t have recent retail experience. The AI algorithm that vets incoming job applicants has dropped me from the prospect list before I’ve finished the requisite online form.
My father never made it to retirement, having passed away at age 54. My mother never retired comfortably due to a couple of ill-advised financial decisions. Personally, I have no idea how to retire and throughout my entire life I honestly believed I never would. I’d simply find something I loved doing and always make myself useful somehow. That retirement plan was a bit delusional, it turns out. Must be something genetic.
Through the miracle of government forethought, Social Security provides me with a modest monthly stipend. Nothing I thought much about over the years but here it is– a dividend from all the years of hard work, thank you for your service and for paying taxes. It may not be a lot but it’s enough to keep me from living under a bridge at the moment. How anyone can believe less government and fewer taxes is the way to run a country clearly hasn’t been faced with obsolescence. When they are, and they will, based on the news headlines it will be too late.
*My former employers weren’t all like that. Some were amazing, but that’s a story for another day 😉
